Ayahuasca, a word that was once foreign to many, is now rippling through the collective consciousness as this miracle medicine from the Amazon makes its way into mainstream conversation.
Visions of Alex Grey paintings, sacred geometry, cosmic serpents and celestial beings are usually the immediate association with the visionary state this medicine induces, but what many may not realize is that this isn’t always where ayahuasca will take you. She (mother ayahuasca is referenced as a feminine energy) always gives you what you need, not exactly what you want.
“I’ve seen things, you people can’t imagine – attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-Beams glitter in the dark…all those moments will be lost in time…” – Blade Runner
The first time I ever tried this medicine, 4 years ago, I ventured into the jungle in Costa Rica, at Guaria de Osa, and journeyed with the Secoya Elders, and this experience felt like a homecoming. As a vivid dreamer in both waking and astral life, the ayahuasca visions had a sense of familiarity in their “foreign-ness.” Ayahuasca spoke to me in a type of dream language that I had a level of fluency in, and offered a cosmic reunion with visions that words alone can’t describe.
I got very lucky. I never purged, I connected to past lives, had visions of serpents, praying mantises, extraordinary colors and levels of consciousness that I could have never imagined even in my wildest dreams. I came to “break open my head”, and it did just that – I broke open my head and my heart, and this sacred initiation catapulted me on my path to becoming the woman I am today.
Reunion With the Mother Medicine
Fast forward to 4 years of life in between then and now, and ayahuasca found her way back into my life (through synchronicity mostly) in April of this year. When I reunited with this medicine, I honestly didn’t know what to expect.
To say that the past 4 years were all love, light, rainbows and kittens would be completely bullshit. To be honest, the past 4 years felt somewhat like a spiritual hazing, but it was all part of divine architecture and truly the greatest test of my heart, will, and intention.
Before ceremony in April, I went in with an open mind, and heart, but was a little scared of what would be revealed to me.
One cup of medicine…nothing.
Two cups of medicine…nothing.
And still nothing.
In being candid (and completely transparent), the situation in April wasn’t ideal. There were a lot of personalities in a small space, and the music the shaman played was quite loud.
Beautiful, but loud.
I only had my other ceremonies in Costa Rica to compare it to, where the elders worked with soft whispers and a gentle icaros. Being in a friend’s house in Woodstock NY just didn’t compare, but I figured it was what I needed.
Ayahuasca always gives you what you need.
In May I found myself gifted with a precious opportunity to go to Rythmia, after synchronicity connected me to the co-founder Brandee Alessandra. A fast friend, and soul sister, with the heart of an angel and the spirit of a wild stallion.
With leftover debris that still hadn’t been cleared from my ceremony in April and the 4 years of my trial-by-fire spiritual initiation, I found myself ready again for whatever mother ayahuasca was going to show me, and the first ceremony whilst at Rythmia, again showed me nada.
Why all of this nada?
Even nothing is something and in shamanic tradition the nada vision is considered a great blessing. When looking at a comic perspective of the exploration of inner-space with the sacred medicine, one may be reminded of the axiom “as above, so below.”
If looking to the “nothing” as the point of which all potential, all creation, is possible, it seems to be a validation of this surprising gift. To see nothing, is to be given a blank slate, offering ayahuasca the chance to work through you, and to your daily life – providing a palate cleanse for creative potential.
While the ceremonies after the “nada” during my stay in May, wound up bringing me to different realms, and allowing intense visions, unlike before (to be honest at one point I felt fear / but the feeling had to surface to be released), the medicine works to let go (to purge) everything that is not on the same vibration as your highest good.
Fear, anger, sadness, are densities that the mother works to resolve and clean in her own way.
While no two ceremonies are ever the same, when the nada occurs it’s also “Bueno”, because through the nothing you can eventually find and create your everything.