It is approximately 12:38 AM on a Saturday, and there is no way on earth I will be escaping to the astral world any time soon. I can barely keep my eyes shut long enough to forget the pattern of my earth tone bed spread.
The lights are off around me aside from my Himalayan pink salt rock lamp, which will hopefully soon be coming to the rescue. I can’t help myself at this point. My mind is wired and no complete ideas are forming, only fragmented thoughts of my day.
The people I encountered: the ones I knew, the ones I didn’t, the ones who smiled at me, and the ones who didn’t know I even existed.
The things I saw: a man walking his dog, the woman and her daughter at the bus stop, the boy riding his bike, and the elderly gentlemen who harassed the driver in front of him for not revving her engine fast enough as soon at the light turned green.
The things I did: brushed my teeth, went to the gym, checked in with my finances, read from my new book; “You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life’’ by Jen Sincero, went grocery shopping, chatted with friends, talked life with my brother and his girlfriend, and enjoyed a late diner with my family.
The things I was told:
“You’re a good boxer.”
“You’ve got a killer voice”
“You’re songwriting is on point”.
“You’re going to go far in your career.”
“You’ve got a great sense of humor.”
The things I told myself:
“I am out of shape”
“My voice has been sounding weird lately.”
“this song wasn’t as good as that other one I wrote.”
“I wonder how much of this I really have in me.”
“Man today I just don’t feel like myself.”
Wait a minute. What is happening here? Why are you saying one thing, while I am thinking another? Can you be right? No. You are lying. Or wait, am I right? am I lying to myself?
To you I probably sound crazy, or could it be that you are recognizing the “crazy” of yourself in me? I don’t know who it is really that I am listening to.. but either way this just isn’t good for my development, nor is it good for a good night’s sleep.
All day long we are fed the lies that we tell ourselves from acheiving our full potential. I am for the most part a very positive and energetic person, but I am not perfect. I am not always one specific way.
Our personal best will vary from day to day, as we are all aware, but If that is true.. then we do we sometimes forget? Why do we sometimes forget that when we are having our best day ever, someone is having their worst?
Why do we forget that when we recieved our promotion at work, someone else got laid off Why do we forget that while we are driving to Whole Foods with our shopping list, our neighbor took the bus to shop on food stamps?
We’re all living in, and sharing this world together, fighting the same battles, paying the same taxes, we are all the same…just wanting to be loved and some giving it more than others.
I think it’s time that I REALLY learn to take a compliment, and I think that it’s about time that we really work on giving them, as well as let people know that they are appreciated.
I know I sure enjoy hearing them, don’t you? Why don’t we start listening to those, instead of the lies we tell ourselves?
In a strange way, you’re kind of giving them to yourself anyway, right?
Let’s all sleep a little better at night.
Things I’ll tell someone tomorrow:
“Thank you for allowing me to __(fill in the blank)__ with you.”
“Thank you for trusting me with __(I’ll fill in the blank)__.”
“Thank you for taking the time to ___(fill in the blank)___ for me.”
Tomorrow I will work on myself some more, and the day after that.. and the day after that. It will be a never ending process, and I hope the same goes for most of you. The best we can do is the best we can do, and that will always vary.
So don’t listen when you hear your self-doubt, becuase the chances are tomorrow you just might be laughing at yourself for doing so. Don’t be discouraged when you don’t feel like you aren’t as good today, as you were yesterday.
Don’t let yourself down, becuase really only you can turn it around…and when I say you, I really am just talking to myself.
“Cause’ there’s no better time than here and now.”
*A note from the author*
This is my first blog post with Evolve and Ascend, and truly hope that this message will resonate with some of you out there.
I know it can be an interesting feeling, like you’re playing monkey in the middle with your thoughts, so thank you for giving me the opportunity to share what is on my mind. Until next time…