It is believed that every reaction/action comes from two different emotions, either love or fear. Every response that is positive comes from a place of love, while every negative response comes from fear. While staying positive and living from a place of love, always, seems like the obvious choice – at times it can be the most difficult.
We live in a fast-paced world, where we are stuck in a 9-5 rat race, with days turning into nights in the blink of an eye, and cultural/societal programming which pins us against one another by encouraging competition and the illusion of separateness. We’ve lost touch with nature, and instead are confined to cubicles and deadlines. Because we are fighting to survive, and to keep up with a material world – it can cause feelings of resentment, jealousy, anger, frustration, and judgement. These feelings are easy to fall into, because it is easier to let your mind control you – instead of controlling your mind.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change – and if you look at everyone as a reflection of yourself, you will see yourself in all you encounter. By taking a step back – we can take a step forward, by learning to control our mind, and using our time to create, love and let go of lack.
I’m not perfect, and I’m far from it. I’ve fallen into this trap many times, and found myself feeling sad, hurt, disappointed and confused by how others have treated me – which has lead to many tears, mini-meltdowns and feelings of anger/judgement. However, knowledge comes from experience, and these experiences have helped me to grow, and become stronger. Instead of judging those who have made me feel these negative emotions, I try to transmute that fear into love, by looking at each person as a reflection of myself. If I truly love myself, unconditionally, I must love everyone unconditionally, love every experience unconditionally, appreciate the suffering as well as the bliss, and forgive everyone – not just who I pick and choose.
You can’t fight fire with fire, and you can’t fight hate with hate..but, if you quench the fire with water, and shine light on the dark moments – life begins to work with you, not against you. While it will always be a challenge to take the road less traveled, after a while things begin to get easier, and you’ll find there is always more to love than there is to hate – and almost all adversity stems from the other person feeling their own feelings of insecurity and lack of love. When the negative feelings bubble up, let go, choose love, and allow this quote to guide you…
“Hurt people hurt people. We are not being judgmental by separating ourselves from such people. But we should do so with compassion. Compassion is defined as a “keen awareness of the suffering of another coupled with a desire to see it relieved.” People hurt others as a result of their own inner strife and pain. Avoid the reactive response of believeing they are bad; they already think so and are acting that way. They aren’t bad; they are damaged and they deserve compassion. Note that compassion is an internal process, an understanding of the painful and troubled road trod by another. It is not trying to change or fix that person.” ― Will Bowen