The Conscious Uncoupling Debate

On March 25th, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin issued a statement regarding the dissolution of their marriage, saying:

Conscious Uncoupling

It is with hearts full of sadness that we have decided to separate. We have been working hard for well over a year, some of it together, some of it separated, to see what might have been possible between us, and we have come to the conclusion that while we love each other very much we will remain separate. We are, however, and always will be a family, and in many ways we are closer than we have ever been. We are parents first and foremost, to two incredibly wonderful children and we ask for their and our space and privacy to be respected at this difficult time. We have always conducted our relationship privately, and we hope that as we consciously uncouple and co-parent, we will be able to continue in the same manner.

Gwyneth & Chris

The “conscious uncoupling” statement heard ’round the world has been subject of much criticism and jest (ie: Huffington Post columnist Dr. Sonya Rhodes hypocritically pretentious statement: “‘Conscious uncoupling.’ The term sounds so ridiculous: New Age-y, pretentious, righteous — I could go on and on”). While celebrity news is not something I care to post about on this site, since this issue is in the vein of “consciousness” – I felt it necessary to address the fact that I find it completely ridiculous that people are placing so much energy on a statement that is essentially just two mature adults deciding to go their separate ways, in a conscious, amiable manner.

In my humble opinion, to “consciously uncouple” means to mindfully end a relationship on good terms, not placing blame on one another, or causing some big dramatic tabloid situation (which unfortunately, inadvertently seemed to happen regardless). I admire the fact that this couple decided to go the high road and part on good terms, and I find it absolutely abhorrent that anyone is wasting their time or energy criticizing/analyzing two people that have absolutely NOTHING to do with their lives, whom they will never meet, encounter or interact with.

In a world where mindfulness is about as rare as being struck by lightning, and it’s like pulling teeth to have someone say “thank you” when you open a door for them – the fact that a celebrity couple, decided to treat their relationship with respect and care by “consciously” going about their separation is something to be commended not poked fun at.

When I posed the question as to why people care so much on my personal Facebook page, a friend had the perfect response, which I couldn’t have said better myself:

“Maybe because most people who split are monsters to one another and seeing others who split amicably is a reminder of what shitty human beings they themselves are, and most don’t like to be reminded how shitty they are?”

“Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” and get over it already.

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